A Complicated Kindness

One of the three Canadian Mennonite novels (keep looking for the next two) that our class has read this semester is "A Complicated Kindness," by Miriam Toews.  It is the story of Nomi Nickels; a snarky and rebellious girl growing up in the town of East Village.  There, nearly the whole town is Mennonite, and work in the historical village re-creation until they are old enough to begin work at the poultry factory.

She is not the first in her family to have problems fitting in to the restrictive (and boring) local-cultural authority.  This is her uncle, who she calls the mouth.  He was a wannabe flower-child who when rejected by that culture turned to enforcing conservative values in his hometown.  Nomi's sister was excommunicated and left town with her boyfriend.  Soon after, her mother was excommunicated and disappeared.  One of the original questions that we were asked when reading this novel is, "What is meant by "a complicated kindness."

Nomi's mother leaves when she was excommunicated because she didn't want to make her husband and daughter choose between her and his town.  This is her way of protecting him from choices, but there are definitely complications to this act of "kindness."  It is tough on those left behind.  Nomi wants to imagine her mother living out her dreams in foreign countries, but that is tough to do since she didn't take her passport when she left.  There are many other questions (not the least of which being, did she really leave because she loves us).

This model of kindness that is tough to take happens more than once throughout the book.  *SPOILER ALERT*  Nomi's father chooses a similar way to leave town.  When Nomi is excommunicated, he leaves to take away things that would keep her in town, living the half life of someone who is dead to the community.  However this way of showing love has its flaws.  Ray, her father, meant to give Nomi a reason to leave and begin her life, but the novel ends with her reminiscing about her childhood and delaying her escape from East Villiage.