Was I the only person who noted a huge shift in tone towards the end of "Mennonite in a Little Black Dress" by Rhoda Janzen. It seemed that the first section of the book was about her midlife crisis; divorcing her gay husband, getting her uterus removed, and beginning a new period of life. She seemed to try new things with flair and wit and took many difficulties in stride. Then almost halfway through the book she suddenly revealed that her husband was a complete jerk and abusive. After this she reflects back on her childhood, and the book concludes with a series of unrelated scenes that display some of her regrets about the lifestyle she choose (while denying that she regretted a moment of it).
Overall the book left me very confused as to the character of Rhoda Janzen. Was she the clever and independent woman who joked frankly about having a pee bag in her purse, or the lady who continuously second guessed her every move while looking high and low for guy to get involved with? Did her divorce and illness change her that much? The disjointedness confused me. Why did her husband go from her reserved and secretly gay husband who she loved despite herself, to the brooding and viscous aggressor who she had to hide from after court?
I get the feeling that this novel was written in sections and later put together into one story. While it was certainly hilarious at times, by the end I got the feeling that she indiscriminately pushed the story in unexpected directions to be able to include her observational humor about all sorts of topics.
Or maybe that's actually what life is like (and perhaps the reason that I don't really like memoirs).
What do you think?
Josh, you do a good job of observing the shifts and turns in Rhoda's book. Then you referred to it as a novel, which is a fictional narrative, when it is in fact a memoir, based on real life, which is infinitely less predictable and more complex. Let me just point out this slippage in language because I think it addresses some of your questions about the form of the book and your expectations of it. We expect novels to tell a story, however complex, that hangs together. We expect fictional characters to be believable, but consistent. However, a memoir begins with real, chaotic, complicated, mysterious experience and attempts to order it in language. Most memoirs "meander," as they are organized by the chain of associations in the narrator's mind rather than by the "plot." So be careful not to judge a memoir by the standards of the novel.
ReplyDeleteA memoir in which the writer makes discoveries about him or herself (see my blog post on this topic) is more like a process of "uncovering" rather than of plot development. In this way it makes sense that Rhoda begins by "taking many difficulties in stride" and later confronting the fact that her bipolar ex-husband was, in many ways, controlling and emotionally toxic for her. After all, she'd spend 15 years coping with this challenging relationship by putting the best spin on it possible.
The other thing I have to say here, is that at least from the perspective of midlife, people seem infinitely more layered and complex to me than they did in my 20s, and it's not surprising to me that Rhoda could love someone who at times resorted to abusive and vicious behavior. What is surprising to me is that she is able to be this honest with herself--and by revisiting the topic in writing to get to the root of what kept her coming back to Nick for over a decade. He represented aspects of herself that she did not wish to acknowledge. So, yes, in some ways the memoir mimics what "life is like." But memoirs of course do this in different ways, with different degrees of success for different audiences. Reading this book is probably a bit of a stretch for you and other members of this class, because I think Rhoda's most intimate audience is other middle-aged women like herself. So kudos to you for your insights into the book and your good questions.
Josh,
ReplyDeleteI had the same feeling about MLBD. One of the things I felt was most disappointing about Janzen's memoir was the incosistency in some of the characters, most notably Rhoda and her husband. The biggest mystery for me throughout the novel was the true character of Rhoda's husband. How could he be both the caring pee-bag emptier and the abusive, gay jerk? And how did Rhoda vacillate so much between being a helpless downtrodden wife and self-confident, independent woman? When I first read this book a few months ago, I spent most of the book having forgotten that the husband from the beginning and the husband from the rest of the book were the same person, and when I realized they were supposed to be the same character, I was stunned.
What you write about the memoir seeming to be written in pieces and then all shoved together is really accurate, and while there are obvious recurring themes (made even clearer by the handout Ann gave us in class), there is a definite feeling of choppiness and slight inconsistency.
I also felt like I had been thrown between the present and past, back-and-forth mercilessly. I also felt that the last few chapters (or maybe it was only the last chapter) had been rushed. She went from talking about her husband, to looking for a relationship... And just like you, I tend to stay away from Memoirs because I prefer reading fiction that has drama, romance, murder, etc., AND is in third person. But, of course, this is all just my opinion.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you in a way. I think my problem was how she chose to write about the events that happened. She laughed at things that I would not and did not find funny. Also, because she chose to tell us that her husband had been abusive in the past and they had already gotten divorced and remarried once before and she knew he was bisexual when he got married, because she chose to tell us these things when she did, it did not help me sympathize with her. I found myself thinking "well then, why didn't you get a clue the first time and leave him a long time ago?" She is constantly mentioning the fact that her husband left her for a guy and it started to bug me that she made so big of a deal out of the gay part of it because she had known when they got married that he was bisexual. I understand that memoirs move back and forth in time so I was fine with that; it was how she chose to portray events that bugged me.
ReplyDelete